brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Randomize
