you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In other news, I just burned my penis
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
