why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
