We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
