I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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