I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
