you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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