woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
