Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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