on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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