idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
