That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
