guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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