i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
