I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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