Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize