its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize