I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
