I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
My bed smells like the plague
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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