I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
