I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
