Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
