When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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