Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
