She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
