Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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