He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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