yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
