I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
