that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
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If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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