I'm lost and stupid without you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Drunk is not a location!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize