some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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