Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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