I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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