yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
