Where are you?
In a non slutty way
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
