When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
