I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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