tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
