I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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