my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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