whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
