My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
