i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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