Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize