shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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