I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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