i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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