Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.