Pappa wants mamma naked
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!