I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
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woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.