What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
