mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.