BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Semen is not good for contacts.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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