my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
