You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Randomize
