Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
