Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
