in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
