So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
