You smell like a Billy Joel song
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
