So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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