a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
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Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
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It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
soo... how was my night?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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