I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
