sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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