Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
