Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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