My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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